Vitamin G
What is Vitamin G? Gratitude. Okay, it's not a vitamin, but like a vitamin, it's essential to your health.
Gratitude is an exercise: It's good for you, and the more you practice, you will get faster and stronger at it.
I once read about a person who scoffed at Thanksgiving.
"It's an insult to the Creator," he said, "to devote only one day to giving thanks. It's important to be thankful every day, not just once a year."
I'm Japanese, so my first impulse is usually to complain about how bad things are. As my Mom says, "The Japanese are relentless in the pursuit of dissatisfaction." (She's Okinawan, so she can say that.)
It's good to strive for improvement. But it may not lead to happiness.
First, why is gratitude important?
As a former philosophy major, I found that people been asking, "What is the good life?" or "How can one be happy?" for a long time.
Gratitude is a key element of being happy, says Gretchen Rubin, author of "The Happiness Project". She says that being grateful:
- Raises people’s life satisfaction
- Improves health
- Increases energy
- Reduces troublesome thoughts
- Promotes good sleep
Humans can entertain only one emotion at a time. If you make yourself notice positive things, you cannot be negative. It's one or the other.
A 2003 study found that gratitude makes people happier. Researchers assigned people to two groups. The first group wrote a list of things they were grateful for. The second group wrote about hassles or neutral events. At the end of the ten-week study, the first group reported better life satisfaction.
Three practical ways to increase your gratitude: Write it down, part I
Research by Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology, revealed that people who write “gratitude letters” to someone who made a difference in their lives score higher on happiness, and lower on depression -- and the effect lasts for weeks.
-- Jen Angel, 10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy
When you think about something nice that someone did for you, that feels good. Share that feeling by sending thank you cards.
Thank you cards are not only for graduating seniors and newlyweds.
Go get some cards, write notes by hand and put them in the mail. Yes, it's slower than text or email. But thanking someone this way is special. A card has weight and substance in a way that an email or text does not. A card adds more elements to your gratitude.
When that person gets a handwritten card, it's a physical, tactile thing. They will feel happy about finding a card addressed to them in their mailbox. They will feel the quality and weight of the card and envelope. Opening the envelope is like opening a gift. They will see your penmanship, read the note, and it will make them happy all over again.
Thank you cards spread delight.
Increase Your Gratitude by writing, part II
People who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals, according to author Robert Emmons.
-- Jen Angel, 10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy
Keep a gratitude journal. It could be a simple list. Whether it's daily or weekly, fill out one page of a notebook with things you're grateful for.
- It could be small things, like, "I'm grateful for this cup of hot cocoa."
- Or it could be big things, like, "I'm glad I don't have cancer."
- Or even next level: "I'm grateful I have cancer."
A variation on the gratitude journal is the Good -- Better -- Best journal. I have a Google Document that I update once in awhile. I'll think of something that's going good in my life. I write that down, then something that's even better than that. Then, stretching: the best thing in my life.
This exercise feels good while you're doing it. It's also good when you look back to see how well your life has been going and how much you have to be grateful for.
Here's a gratitude diary template.
And finally, here's an activity I plan to use at Thanksgiving this year. As each guest arrives, ask them to write one thing they are grateful for on a slip of paper. After everyone has put their idea in a bowl, we'll take turns guessing whose gratitude is whose.
The most effective thank you ever
Thanking people in person is hard, but it is most rewarding.
When you set your gratitude alert on high, you'll find that people do nice things for you all the time. A good way to start is to make a point of thanking people for things they do for you right away.
I thank the bus driver when I get off at my stop. I thank my co-workers for covering my shift. I thank my partner for his love, for doing chores, for doing things with me.
There are endless opportunities to thank people. And each is an opportunity to make yourself, and someone else, happier that day.
In conclusion
This is a busy time of year for people. It's hard to pay full attention to anyone. So if you are reading this, thank you for your time. I hope these tips increase your happiness. Remember: Vitamin G is an important part of living a balanced life.