Hacking Facebook

Hiking Rincon Ridge with Yang Xia 031613

Usually I promote ways to make your life easier. But this time I want to make your life harder.

I want you to get rid of all your friends.

Sounds radical? Yes. But drastic methods are called for.

Periodically, Unfriend Everyone on Facebook

It's part of the process of weaning yourself away from Facebook.

Let me tell you about my former housemate Kelly.

Kelly was from the Bay area before she came to UNM to study.

Kelly was a Facebook addict. She was constantly scrolling on her phone, talking with her friends, looking at photos and sharing links.

But when she had to take exams for her classes, she knew she had to keep herself away from Facebook.

So she got her friend to change her account password, and not give it back til after she was done with her exams.

That way, whenever Kelly reflexively reached for her phone, she couldn't get to Facebook and had to focus on her work.

Facebook is addictive because it's made to be addictive.

I understand the attraction because I have an addictive personality. When I'm working on something hard, I like to be distracted. It's the easiest thing to hop on to Facebook and get yourself down a rabbit hole.

But social media is not good for you. A UC San Diego study in 2017 found that users said Facebook made them less healthy mentally and physically. They reported they were less satisfied with life, and they also got fatter the more they were on Facebook.

So you should try to use Facebook less.

Facebook's official mission is "to make the world more open and connected".

But their unstated mission is to make money, by selling ads based on your usage.

If you're on Facebook, you are working FOR Facebook. You're creating the product that they're selling, a product so valuable the company is worth an estimated $500 billion.

Every post, every person you tag, every image you upload, every event you create, every time you click to like something, all contributes to a massive database that Facebook sells to any body.

If you don't agree with this, or it bothers you that Facebook has become so powerful they are not answerable to anyone, the fact is that as one of the 1.8 billion users, Facebook relies on you and your labor to create that incredible market valuation. 

I understand if you like being on Facebook. I have to be on Facebook to promote the UNM Physics Department, and it's useful to be able to be reachable via Facebook. As another friend, Keiko, said,

I use Facebook, but I use it deliberately. Facebook is a way to virtually stand in the middle of a crowded room and yell things.

Which is what I have Toastmasters for.

Remember: Facebook is not your friend. It is not "on your side". Facebook is a business that makes money off of you.

Keep your Facebook account, just Unfriend Everyone

Let's talk about unfriending and why it works.

My way of hacking Facebook is to periodically take all of my friends that I have worked so hard to acquire, and I click "unfriend", "unfriend", "unfriend", "unfriend".

I'll tell you, it hurts your heart to do this. You look at all these people and you say, "How can I do this to them? How can I possibly take these people off my list of friends?"

But these are not your friends. These are just the online accounts of your friends who are people in real life. Deleting them as Facebook friends doesn't stop them from being friends with you. It doesn't delete them as people. No one gets hurt when you unfriend them.

In fact, no one will notice. They're all too busy with their own lives.

All right, if they do notice, you say, "I have a policy: Every so often I unfriend everyone on Facebook."

Then you add them back.

Rinse and repeat.

Sometimes I friend someone just so I can unfriend them later. It's a great feeling.

Here's what happens when you go on to Facebook after you've unfriended everyone: Your Facebook Timeline is a blank page.

Nobody is asking you to look at their pictures of their children or their dogs, no one is asking you to like anything.

It's empty.

It's a massive relief.

Just unfriend everyone and see.

What do you do without Facebook?

I want to tell you a last story about my Mom.

She falls into the perfect demographic for Facebook. She's retired and has plenty of time on her hands.

But she is not on Facebook.

She does Tai Chi. She takes aikido and yoga classes at the senior center. She swims three times a week at the pool. She walks around the neighborhood and talks with her friends. She performs with her Taiko drum group. She goes to every craft fair and small town theater production and attends every movie or dance recital she can drag her friends to. She has friends in real life, and she has a great life.

Unfriending everyone on Facebook will encourage you to get healthy and see your friends in real life too.

Hack Facebook so that you make it work for you, and not you working for Facebook.

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